Koh Phi Phi

Koh Phi Phi was hit hard by the tsunami, but according to an old Thai woman at our place in Phuket, this has actually made it a much nicer place, instantly washing away the myriad problems caused by overcrowding and waste disposal.

Phi Phi Don is made up of 2 hilly regions, connected by a flat bit of land stretching no more than 1km between the 2, and is a points only 500m wide, flanked north and south by golden sands. This effect of northern and southern coves must have acted like a giant funnel, pushing the wave even higher as it washed completely over this sandbank and emptied into the northern bay. At low tide, the beach on both sides widens by a couple of hundred meters and it is possible to see hundreds of giant boulders that got swept across the ocean that day. The northern bay in particular is completely littered by them.

As soon as we stepped off the boat, we were hassled by hawkers waving leaflets in our faces, trying to get us to their accommodation. Two of the world's most indecisive people, this was a little overwhelming, so we decided that pot luck was our best bet and went with the next chap that approached us. Unfortunately this particular Thai was wearing an Arsenal shirt - I was sceptical to say the least.

Koh Phi Phi has no roads, and so our chariot was a dodgy looking moped and sidecar combination. The two Thais organizing us seemed to want to pile 4 huge rucksacks, an Irish couple and Kerri onto this contraption, and as expected, when I got on it, it refused to go anywhere (queue much Thai hilarity). Still, after a bit of weight distribution we were away and eventually made it to our apartment, which was out the back of nowhere at the end of a walkway that Kerri dubbed "Poo Alley" due to its abundant rubble/rubbish/sewage stockpiles. Never trust a Gooner.

We ditched our bags and decided the best course of action was to get pissed, so off we went to the "Reggae Bar" to watch some Muay Thai - WWF style. I say that, because at one point one fighter fell out of the ring and the other jumped out and battered him with a conveniently located metal tray - I'm pretty sure that isn't in the rules! The highlight though, was when the MC asked for volunteers. The only taker was a big fat Irishman who could barely stand he was that drunk - he was quickly knocked unconscious by a tough looking Aussie in an amusingly one-sided contest.

Anyway, the next day we decided to leave Poo Alley and moved into a much nicer place nearer the beach. Having spent the day exploring, we booked a Sunset Cruise to nearby Phi Phi Leh. This island is uninhabited and is the main location in the film "The Beach". The boat cruised round the island and stopped at a cove for some snorkeling. Kerri was very brave and jumped all of 10ft from the top of the boat and into the sea - even if it did take nearly 10 minutes of persuasion!

The water was teaming with pretty yellow fish and Kerri was loving swimming with them, until that is, someone on the boat threw a bit of banana into the water in front of her. Kerri went to grab it at the same time as about 200 of these harmless fish, and they completely surrounded her in a split second! Kerri's head came up, eyes filled with terror as she frantically tried to back away from the banana whilst trying not to poo her pants, much to the amusement of several onlookers!

That night we went tat shopping and I bought a necklace to fit in more with the travelling types. To be honest what I really need is several more tattoos, some tie-dye trousers and dreadlocks, but a fishbone, coconut and buffalo horn bead string will do for now. (Personally I am dubious - I have seen plenty of fish, loads of coconut, but not a single buffalo as yet)

Later that night we saw an amazing Fire Show at a local bar. However, allowing a 10 year old boy to swing 2 blazing poi at high speed, within 5 foot of the customers, in a bar completely made of wood, would probably not have passed one of my Dad's stringent fire safety inspections!

Our last day at Phi Phi consisted of us getting a water taxi to a much quieter beach and chilling out. Kerri was brave again and I talked her into snorkeling around a rocky outcrop at least 200m off the coast. The swim out was exhausting, but the snorkeling was worth it. By the time we swam back, our route had become a busy shipping lane, but we made it back to shore in one piece with only a few cuts and scrapes to show for it.

The next day we packed our bags for Koh Lanta, hoping it would be the beach bum paradise we had heard it was…